SOMETIMES, WHEN PEOPLE TALK, they try to make a one-sided impression....
To pursue this trip to Palawan of chosen staff in The Pioneer, I’ve had many hardships before I finalized its assurance. I’ve been scolded by the administration for omitting one of our signatories in the letter for disbursements; I’ve had dilemmas regarding the plane tickets, and oodles of other encumbrances.
However, the most arduous part is this: My Palawan days will be on February 11-14. Forlornly, my interview for TOS-AUF for Journalism (The Outstanding Student of AUF for the Category Journalism) has been scheduled on February 13. So my interview date coincides with one of these days.
Now, my enthusiasm has turned to an emotional breakdown....
I never planned to join TOS in any way. I don’t work for The Pioneer with that sinister agenda – fame. I’m not a user!
Yet people nominated me. They believe in my capability; they know what I truly deserve. They have the eyes to see what’s happening; they have the heart to feel if who is truly deserving.
I was stirred by their encouragements so I joined.
There’s no backing out....
That’s why I was flabbergasted when I found out that the interview schedule for the External Judging (the level of judging where judges come from outside the AUF) will be on the 13th of February. It seems like the world broke into pieces for me.
Edwin, my opponent for the award and also my EIC in The Pioneer, discovered that conflict in schedule too.
It was that night when Mitch told him about it at Chowking-AUF. It was the very same day I told Mitch about my problem regarding the schedule-conflicts. That night, we had dinner at Chowking with Melford Cunanan, a former senior editor of mine.
(Meanwhile, Mitch understands my sentiments. She knows I’m really excited to go to Palawan. I’m a nature-lover; I love beaches and Palawan for me will be synonymous with paradise. She knows that I wouldn’t barter anything with going to Palawan. She knows too that I’m the one who managed all our flights and all our necessary expenses and documents these past few weeks.)
Then Edwin saw us from a far-flung aloofness. He entered the fast-food too.
Conversely, Edwin, who is also coming with us to Palawan, was neither shocked nor disappointed. There was no grimace in the wrinkle on his face. His expression even ignited as if he was excited and happy.
“Bakit, nakapunta ka na bang Palwan?” Mitch asked to Edwin. (“Have you been to Palawan?”)
She was bamboozled by the manner Edwin reacted when he heard about the conflict of schedules. She thought Edwin wouldn’t care regarding his failure to go to Palawan that she presumed he’d been there before. (Or perhaps, she thought Edwin would be delighted not to go with us to Palawan because it was “us”.)
Then, Edwin nodded as if it meant his answer is “Yes, I’ve been in Palawan once.”
Afterward, Edwin started to natter.
“…Why would I use the money of the Pioneer, it’s the money of the students! I’d rather send another delegate to join the press con. Uuwi din naman ako eh bakit pa ako pupunta,” said Edwin in front of Mitch, Melford, and me.
Having heard his statement, I thought he was talking about me. But then he added, “But of course I would understand Al…” Then his face was feigned with a smirk.
My eyes started to turn watery but I waited for Edwin to leave. Then the water fell when he left, descending down to my cheeks.
I recall Edwin talking early during the morning on that day. He was mentioning something about selective exposure—showing to people only a selected part of a news to convey a message that you want to create a manipulated impression to people. I related it to showing to people a selected part of your emotions so as to convey a message with an agenda…
Clearly, in my mind, I still recall the memoirs of our R18 concert....
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