Butong pakwan (watermelon seeds)

He wears thick gold bracelets and rings festooned with diamonds; he speaks with his big raging voice as though always inviting of a debate; he stands with the military erectness of his body like nothing can make him fall …

… My ever boastful, powerful, and proud father had a sudden death, the cause of which is heat stroke, they say.

THE BOWL WAS EMPTY. I’ve filled it for about the second or third time with butong pakwan (those salted, dried watermelon seeds people pull out from their brittle, roasted rind). Though never addicted to butong pakwan since childhood, I’ve tried them back then, doing the same thing: placing them on a plate, so my sister could actually eliminate their roasted rind using her bare hands for me. This time, however, it felt different. Pouring butong pakwan into the bowl, I felt my heart throbbing—because the serving was for my father’s funeral.

Top 10 skills I have acquired and done best in my 24 years of existence

I turned 24 last April 1st and this is my birthday entry for my 24 years of existence …

… and still counting!

BEFORE TURNING 24, I have joined various organizations and tried numerous activities, including Taekwondo, publication writing, and weightlifting, and even theater acting and singing. In all these, though, I suppose I’ve never been the “best”—a word that I associate with being outstanding in every aspect. Hence, I’ve enumerated the skills I’ve done preeminently, those that I may have learned to master, or at least to get the hang of, from all the things I tried and organizations I joined… or even from experiences, painful and blissful, I encountered.

ATSPAR (III) contenders must hear a ****

“There are two major types of contenders joining a writing contest: those who expect and those who don’t… But what should both realize after the contest?” (My response to ColdExpress’s “ Meet the Natives”)

ATSPAR III preludes ALTPA in a regional level. The latter is in Luzonwide level and is being held in February of the subsequent year, few months after its regional counterpart during November. For the benefit of those who live outside this archipelago, these two are writing contests held annually for campus journalists. The words “tertiary schools press conference” can be extracted from these acronyms, which technically means they’re intended only for college students. Meanwhile, ATSPAR III has celebrated its tenth anniversary this November.

THAT NOVEMBER 2008 DAY I’ll never forget. The azure November sky was crystal clear, the atmosphere was unruffled, and the temperature was tepidly blended. Although being consternated about the results and feeling nauseous, I was still certain that I will hear my name and see myself once again, going in front of the faceless crowd of campus journalists, receiving my opulent medal of either bronze or silver, and being applauded by all and sundry. Afterward, I thought I’ll be seeing my banner flogging in front of our university’s main building. And so I expected that from Edwin de Leon too. These were then my expectations…

A forgotten expiration of my one-year warranty

SOMETIMES, I TEND TO contemplate about things. When a Christian tells me good accolades or assures me with good promises, I definitely believe him/her for the moment because there is sincerity in his/her spirit; I can feel it. However, other questions are being posed like: If these words were seeds, should I plant them in my heart? Does the person who said them can actually remember what he/she said? Are those lines not meant to be forgotten?

The most treasured messages in my old Samsung E251: “Tuloy ka ba diyan?” ”Soxi. Go! Kaya yan! Kaw pa! Bilib ako sa’yo. Ehe. Yun nga lang, medyo mahal yung living diyan. Bait mo noh kuya.” “Parang innate seo… Uhm cguro dahil generous ka, maasikaso. Ganun. Pero more than those, magaan ang loob ko sa’yo. Siguro dahil I see a genuine heart.”A Christian was always there to encourage me – “Magkanu ba bayad sa kontrata?” Bakit pinapaalis ka ng mama mo diyan. E diba gusto niya diyan ka?” “Ano ba ang epekto?” Or even supports me when I really feel like very uncomfortable with the situation – “Tsaka malayo ka sa home.” “Ready ka magbayad dng 42K?” Ganoon? Basta ingat diyan ah.” “Go. God has more than one plan naman. Either way, winner. Ehe.” And consults me regarding all his problems – “Kuya, gising ka pa? Bakit bigla nalang nawala signal ang Globe ko kahit anong phone ko siya ilagay. Text ka sa Smart ko.” and “Tawag ka na lang landline” As well as the times I felt I have my responsibility, which were actually signs of closeness – “Kanina pa ako nagtetext kaya sa Sun. Ikaw nalang magdesisyun nun. Tulungan mu ulit ako sa financial statement noh. Bili ako ID. Bayaran mo yun.” When trying to explain why a person was not able to reply – “Kuya, pasensiya na. Nakatulog na ako. Nasa vibrate mode yung phone ko pero di ako nagising. Gising na ako. Tawag ka napo. Salamat po.” And a never-failing person who used to periodically check my condition – “Are you okay? Glad. We prayed for you last night.” “Salamat po ng marami. Sorry po sa kakulitan…” Even these never-failing invitations – “I’ll talk with you personally on Saturday.” “Punta ka, never miss the opportunity. You are most welcome.” “Don’t try so hard to do it on your own. You’ll never succeed.” Then continued, “I know that God is giving you the desire right now. Just trust.” “Have faith. Fear does not come from the Lord. May TV ka? Kahit sa lobby lang. Manood ka 700 Club.” As well, when I’m in my journey back to Pampanga every weekend, there has been no failure in texting – “Pauwi na si Pogi.” Someone would even find ways just to be able to give a feedback – “Piso lang ito. Shinare lang. Thank you so much. Patentadong brother in Christ – (it) is not just for a lifetime. It is eternal. Grateful. God bless you more! Uulan ng pagpapala.” Even the sharing of passwords – “************” ito ang password ko. And the act of forgetting that two different persons came from two different biological families; blood never became an issue – “Sino pa ang KUYA? Sino ba ang may WORK na? Sino ba ang nasa MALL? Ikaw. Sino ba ang MAS BUNSO? Sino ba ang SPOILED? Ako. Huwag ka nang humirit pa.” and “Haha. Kapatid mo ko eh.”… And lots of others that are stocked in my corrupted memory card!

Moreover, I also recall the unrelenting telephone conversations that last until 5 a.m. “Big bro, PDL.” And one line I will never forget – “I am here to stay…”

Last night, I glanced at the slick-slide design of my Samsung E251. I can still recall why I bought this extra phone. I’ll be using it for my Sun SIM card because I have been required to have a Sun mobile number for my first job. I could not obliterate my Globe mobile ever since because all my contacts are Globe subscribers that's why I bought an extra phone. My Globe contacts are actually the people who are so important in my life. Back then, I remember I would even insert my Globe SIM to my Samsung mobile whenever the battery level of my former phone for my Globe mobile has turned empty. This happened so many times.



Going back, I saw the date: May 25. It was actually the anniversary of my Sun Service Academy batch. It has been one year since I attended the first day of our training in my first job (Happy anniversary to those who were left!). Moreover, the date reminded me that the one-year warranty of my Samsung phone had already lapsed 3 days ago.

I’ve almost forgotten....

05.26.2010

Memoirs of Fontana

I FINALLY GOT A copy of my pictures in Fontana, back in the Pioneer’s Culmination event....