Misguided first choices

TECHNICALLY SPEAKING, THIS IS the 16th pay-slip I’ve ever received from the time I graduated; yet with peculiar contemplations, I reckon this as the first one…

I received it more than a couple of weeks ago. This means I already had the succeeding pay-slips after that—which, analytically, further means this article is too much delayed! Conversely, I should not feel excited in receiving and opening this pay-slip because I have been doing the same thing multiple months now. The rationale, perhaps, for my excitement is that this is the first pay-slip I received from the employer, which gives me the chance to practice want I wanted in life ever since I have been enlightened from my actual first-job experience.

That first job in the Telecommunications industry (in Customer service specifically), candidly, should have not been predestined as my first job. From the very moment I passed the exam and attended the interview, my human instinct just didn’t feel affirmative about it. I just ended up signing the employment contract because I was an ignorant fresh graduate who got tantalized by the first job served in front of me like a chicken on silver platters—something absolutely misguided by insidious, competitive salaries.


Optimistically speaking, I never let myself be stocked into something I don’t like. I recall all people whom I have previously conversed with. Most of them are professionals whose courses are far-fetched from what they ended up doing. Some were degree holders of BS Tourism who have practiced being a Product Specialist in a Medicine Manufacturing Company, some are AB Journalism graduates who have practiced taxation, some were graduates of BS Hotel and Restaurant Management who ended up being Sales Representatives, and so and so. The list, if completed, would be very bamboozling! It’s just that the bottomline in this paragraph is the statement I have heard from a Reader’s Digest reader. He said, “If a person does something that is not his will, his heart would beat three times only instead of four.”

Having heard their stories, I told myself, “Perhaps, this happens to people who belong to the run-of-the-mill level in their fields.” I don’t want that to happen to me, I thought.
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From that, I suddenly recall my impetuosity back in college. AB Mass Communications was not the first course I took. My mother, with the influence of Alper, my older brother, wanted me to take BS Nursing. I concurred with my mother since I have been blinded to the fact that nurses earn dollars abroad. Then after the first day of my class, I told Mama I’m ready to shift next semester. The expression on her face can never be drawn; yet, she can do nothing but to accept it because my decision, as always, is irrevocable. Now, there’s nothing I regret from that. I never dreamed to be a volunteer for two years earning nothing but a patient saying, “Thank you!” It’s like studying for four years with a two-year extension, putting the burden on my mother to give me allowance two years more!

(No negative implications on Nursing students, graduates and registered nurses. If you love what you do, of course it’s okay; there’s nothing wrong with that.)
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My mother had been giving me my allowance since I was in High School. In elementary, I didn’t receive any allowance though. This is because all my expenses have been defrayed by, of course, my mother who acted like a 24/7 guardian angel. Speaking of my elementary days, I recall my best friend back in elementary. I’ll never forget the day when I actually knew what is meant by childhood sweetheart.

I found out, recently, she’s like almost happily married for five years now. She was like a first choice for me too.